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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26025754">Lovelorn~</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tintedCupre/pseuds/tintedCupre'>tintedCupre</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band), WAYV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottling emotions, Break Up, CEO Ten, Getting Back Together, Health Issues, Inspired by: Rich man poor woman (kind of?), Kun and ten are hurting, M/M, Post-Break Up, Poverty, employee kun, i always write angst for some reason, manipulative parents, this didnt have the ending i wanted</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 08:47:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26025754</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tintedCupre/pseuds/tintedCupre</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt : Kun has broken up with Ten apearantly for no reason and has disappeared from his life completely. Three years later when Ten gets appointed in his father's newly bought company, they cross paths again. The years with emotional baggage has turned Ten's love for Kun into hatred while Kun seems to be successful in his career.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun/Kim Taeyeon, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten &amp; Qian Kun, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetfigments/gifts">sweetfigments</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ty so much again lovely user Frnands for this prompt I hope I can cover at least 25% of your expectations 🥺. Even though I had decided on a one shot, I found I couldn't cover everything in a single chapter which is why I'll be making this a two shot instead. besides I'll be needing to work on the other one so I need to divide my work ! </p><p>I'll make the next chapter almost double the size. I've started working on it but I don't think it'll be done till the next week at least. </p><p>Also I'll be starting the other prompt and will be released some where in the next week too. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I don't want to go." </p><p>"You have to." </p><p>"Why?!"</p><p>"Because I say so." </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ten groans at his father who's standing right above his head. He had bought a new company in Beijing, and now he wanted Ten to go there and see how work was going on. He didn't see the need to go, there was already a manager there handling it well for the past 7 months. But his dad insisted on him taking it under his care. </p><p>It was probably another miserable attempt to make him stay in one place. Sighing, he gave up and slumped back more into his couch. 'Why isn't this old man dead yet' he mumbles rolling his eyes and receives a sharp slap on the back of his head. Hissing in pain he walks out and slips into his shoes. The old man keeps a hand on his shoulder and makes his face shorter.</p><p> </p><p>The company was based on architecture. It had 1% of his interest just because of that. After he wasn't able to pursue his dream, this could be the closest to what he wanted. Still, staying in one office everyday, meeting similar people, it sounded caging and exhausting. He didn't want to grow old like every other cranky boss. </p><p>He doesn't like listening to his parents. They've always been against everything he's wanted. He hates complying to what they say. </p><p> </p><p>It doesn't help how his mother and father both are standing in front of him, glaring at him. They've always annoyed him so much unlike his older sister because she never made mistakes, every move was just like their parents wanted. It annoyed him to some extent but after all, it wasn't her fault anyways so blaming wouldn't do any good. She was merely being herself. It wasn't her fault she was just perfect. </p><p>"Just give it a try. If you don't like it there you can report to me after 2 days about the work and stats and I'll let the manager handle it." His father said after his mom whispered something in his ear. </p><p>Ten won't let it slide so easily though, he knows their traps and lies like the back of his own hand, so like everytime he offers a pact, "You swear, you won't force me to stay there and won't offer me anything like this again till the next 2 years." He knew this was a dead end. Either way, it was his profit. "...You're as stubborn as your mother.." He cursed a bit and got elbowed in the side. Wincing he scrunched up his face in distress and sighed. "Fine. I won't." The younger brightly smiles and heads out running. He hears his father scream at him in the distance "you can't go out like this!" He doesn't bother and takes the seat in his car. </p><p>He was starting a new life today, after so long, working, like he wanted him to. 'Will you come back to me today? Now that I'm on a good path?' All these years, he had never really forgotten about him. His smile, his voice. Him as a whole. But working and going for business, the thought had been pushed at the back of his mind. Ten had occupied himself with foreign affairs, going from Seoul to Bangkok to Shanghai to NYC and so on. Everything, just to forget that one person. His fists clenched thinking about him and without realising, he crumpled the poor tissue into an unrecognisable state, the thai's anger dripping into the clenched fist. </p><p>After years of going from place to place, meeting new people and leaving them, he had tried everything. Everything and anything to keep his sanity. One state arrived when his mind pushed thoughts to find his mistakes. Pursuing new people to see if he was really unlikeable or just not worth the time. </p><p>Maybe even hoping he could get over the Chinese male. </p><p> </p><p>Realisation came soon and he knew, it wasn't his fault. All he did was love him. Unconditionally. Was loving someone a crime? Was it a crime big enough to break someone completely. Not one call or text. Silence, sorrow. Years of investment in their love only returned to him as pain and misery. Made him bitchy, angry, distrustful. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Qian Kun.... where are you... </p><p> </p><p>I hope you're as restless as I am. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>◗ 　◑</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To say he's impressed is an understatement. Ten expected the building to be like one of the other starters but it was opposite. Big and lavish. The glasses were shining which covered the 11(?) floored building. Walking inside he was immediately greeted by who he guessed was the manager. She walked to him and immediately raised her hand to shake and bowed.</p><p>"Welcome Mr Leechaiya-" "Ten." He said cutting her off. She nodded and smiled again again. </p><p>"-Mr Ten. We have made all the arrangements you'll need for the first day. For the testing, I didn't tell anyone that you're arriving so you can personally go on a random round to check on our employees..oh. I'm Miso by the way." He was a little overwhelmed by the tight planning. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone in the office is fast paced and efficient. Or at least looks like. They don't take a close look, since Miso insists he should go through his own method of testing his staff. He didn't want to argue with the lady, who looked far more experienced and kind of intimidating. Someone like a boss. A head that territories and commands. </p><p>She fit too well. </p><p>Every floor looked clean, being a person who hated anything dirty, ten was relieved to see the efforts even though it wasn't much. Because of being 10 floored, it was easier to access and keep tabs on. </p><p>They were lead to the topmost floor where a mosiac glass door gave in to their destination. The office was, really, well organized. He couldn't really find anything he could complain about. His desk was a palette shaped wooden materialed with glass covering top. Small patches were right where the paint and mixing space is with an adjustable foot rest. The walls were seperated in 3 parts. One was a plain cross check with grey and white colours, the other a pale yellow with dark green designs and the last a white wall with black circles. Right at the corner the sunlight hit perfectly, reflecting in the office with the glass pane giving a wide view of the city.</p><p> </p><p>Almost like a movie.</p><p> </p><p>The floor under him wasn't basic white, worm like body of paints across the floor, black dark blue and grey swirles. " The interior designing team did a nice job I think. We didn't tell them a lot about your topic either, they probably think it's Mr Leechaiyapornkul, I mean your father, sir." Ten just nodded and walked around. The vibe his office gave was so energetic and passionate. He loved the place. But not enough to stay. "You have 3 percent of my interest now."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>◗ 　◐</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Hey..." </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kun scrunched his nose and turned to Baekhyun. "What is it.. gege." He says in an annoyed tone and an unimpressed face because of how he was being pinched continuously at which the older clutched his heart and mumbled, "I thought we had something special." The younger shakes his head not being able to resist a smile and pokes the other's head with the pen in his hand making him rub his head over dramatically. </p><p> </p><p>One rumour. </p><p> </p><p>All it took was one rumour to rise in the midst of the calm department and baekhyun would be running around the office like a beagle gossiping about it (apparently he even made money by selling what he liked to call 'tea'.) </p><p>He looks at the other who wouldn't stop staring at him with those excited eyes. He knows he has no choice but to listen. "Go ahead." The older smiles brightly and pats his head as a thank you. ('Dog language' Taeyeon says) "So.. remember the office we planned?" He continues after receiving a nod, "it's for a new boss. Apparently there's someone who's taking over this company, aaand our specially designed office will be where he's gonna work." He finishes with a cheeky smile and Kun rolls his eyes at him. </p><p>He can sense Baekyun's plans of impressing the boss so he can slack off in his work. "Don't be so excited, if he's anything like the manager then my precious gege, you're so dead." Baekhyun visibly slumps in his chair and pouts folding his hand. He doesn't mind him, grown habitual to the older and continues working as he throws another sheet and takes out a new one. If only he hadn't spilled the coffee on the tab he wouldn't be here drawing on a paper with pencils. The joints of his fingers start to pain slightly, the area of elbows to wrist almost giving in. </p><p>He sighs and straightens his back and hits his hand in a fist two three times before arching it a little. Relaxing, he starts taking off his coat and moving his head around once or twice. "Calm down baby we don't need a strip show here." A voice coos teasingly, he ignores baekhyun's comment (which he makes throughout the day, unfortunately, being the one right beside his desk) and ruffles his hair a little.</p><p> </p><p>Nothing seems to rest his head and he speaks his thoughts out loud "I'm gonna go to the bathroom, nothing is crossing my mind today." He says and frowns, a pout threatening on his face, he really isn't the one to act cute or immature he swears. Kun just likes pouting and speaking softly...and maybe he likes acting cute sometimes but it's not often! (He swears). The pink haired man in front of him gives him another gentle pat on his head, Slightly leaning from his chair. "You should try to take a break, besides, your deadline is next to next month and most of your projects are already done.... Give it a rest, I'm sure you'll be alright." He receives a cheerful smile from the older and his lips slip into a silly smile. </p><p>Despite being his junior at work, baekhyun is still his senior in life and a good friend. Possibly one of Kun's only friends, he calms his nerves down a lot of times surprisingly with good advice despite the random nonsense he blabbers all the time. He's really thankful for the older sometimes.</p><p>Kun is himself a perfectionist which makes him stress things over more than they should; he doesn't accept average. It's either scoring 10 or 0 and scoring 0 has never been an option. Every little consequence that could lead to errors scare him making him put each step on the ground calculated. A headache threatens to rise and he puts his pencil down, flipping his papers over. </p><p> </p><p>He needs some air for sure. </p><p> </p><p>He takes his short leave and heads to the bathroom, almost sinking into the stall. There aren't any dark circles visible since he had a great sleep last night and the rest are perfectly covered by his makeup. He's one of the very few male workers who like to put on make-up. Even a lot of female workers don't bother with it because of how hectic their schedule can be. Still, it always fascinated him and soon it became a habit. Besides he doesn't shine like a lone peacock because a few more employees do make-up as a part of morning routine like waking up wearing a suit and everything. </p><p> </p><p>After being distracted, a little song playing in his head; when he feels his mind is clear enough to give him a few hours to sit, he twists the door and steps out. </p><p>As soon as he made his way out from the door, Taeyeon pulled him by hand "Kun, go back to your desk, right now. The new boss... he's right there, I'm telling everyone to go back, if you meet someone on the way tell them too." She rushes away as soon as she comes and Kun is confused and a little dazed. He doesn't fight the words and just goes back to his desk, midway, he gets called by baekhyun and he turns around to the older man who's making weird poses, without seeing where he's actually going. He understands the sign of looking in front.... after he collides with someone. The man curses turning around, "What to fucking he-" </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ten. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He turns around to face none other than the Qian Kun. The man he looked for like frantic 3 years, the man on his mind since the past 7 years, the man he used to love. Qian Kun, the person he hates the most. Bitter taste rises up Ten's throat as the other is startled with his mouth slightly agape. The Thai has grown so much over the years, his face is sharper, he looks older obviously. The skinny physique still has its highlight but his shoulders are broader. The cute boyish charm has its hints but not he's more of a man. Someone grown up; experienced. His slicked back hair make him look more mature. Ten stares as intensely as the other. Kun looks really different. The round face with baby fat is almost gone. A much sharper jawline still, his cheeks look a little puffy and soft, he almost wanted to reach out and pinch them and a skinnier body. The grey-blue hair suits him so well, as if the hairstyle was just made for him, round glasses settling on his cute nose compliment the look. </p><p>There are small hints of eyeshadow and lip tint on his face. He has also grown a little taller, an inch or so he thinks, it doesn't really look more than a few centimeters. The grey suit looks incredible on him. Other workers are staring at them with the corner of their eyes as the two males stare at each other. </p><p>If Ten was anymore pathetic, he might've just fallen in love with the older one all over again. </p><p> </p><p>But he won't. </p><p> </p><p>He looks sharply at the older and puts his hand on the desk slightly leaning to it. "Why are you not here...working. Mr." A little stuttery tone escapes his lips explaining he went to the bathroom. Sure his break wasn't exactly right now but people did take breaks. Before he could think of anything more the slightly shorter male started talking again. "It's not your break time and you've been there for 15 minutes, I don't think that's allowed. Whatever. Name." He says with a sharp tone and Kun blinks at him.</p><p> "Huh?" The older squeaks out in a high pitch tone. </p><p>Ten clicks his tongue and looks at the manager nodding at her. "Follow me." He says with a glare at the older and walks towards the lift feeling the whole floor stare at him. Sound of heels clicking on the floor lets him know that miso and kun are right behind him, hurrying on their steps. He gets in and punches the floor as the other male and Lady get in. There's a respectful distance between all of them, both in the lift and when they walk into Ten's office. </p><p>"Name" Ten repeats as soon as they are in the office, picking up a mug of coffee. "You- ....Qian Kun, sir." The taller one says biting onto his lip in nervousness, a habit the Thai knows since old. "Mr Qian Kun... You're fired." For a second,dead silence falls into the room and Kun looks at him in disbelief. "Are you-" "Pack your things, you're fired." There's not the slightest hint of hesitation in his voice and it worries the older. Almost hopes that it's a bad joke he's being played on. Miso, a little surprised and anxious too tries to stand up for Kun, "sir, he's one of the best employees and we were about to give him a promotion- '' Ten raises a hand stopping her from giving whatever explanation she would give in the employee's favour. </p><p>The scene was still; if someone else would see it would probably be weird, the blue haired man looking down, shoulders dropped, the manager standing between them looking disturbed and hesitant while the orange-blonde haired boss looking at the other male harshly, his eyes fixed on him while his hand moved just enough to set the cup down and back to his lips again. </p><p>"Okay then. You can stay.."</p><p> </p><p>Kun's head shoots up to look at him with big eyes, shocked and hopeful. Miso looks surprised as well, her mouth slightly gaping unlike how stiff she was earlier, shoulders down and blinking in wonder as if she can't believe the person in front of him is real. </p><p>"...Mr Qian, you're my assistant from now on." He says and turns around going to sit on his chair. Just before he can think, manager steps and objects, stopping him from sitting. "Sir, he's a good employee but.. not qualified to be your as-" "Save it. I've made my decision. Don't make me repeat." Kun watches their interaction, stiff, one hand pinching the other. "Qian. Its either getting fired or being my assistant. What do you prefer?" If the blue haired could, he'd really just started quiet but this was his job on the line. No way could h risk it, "...Assistant?" He says hesitantly biting his lower lip for a second before releasing it. "Perfect.Go clean your desk and move into your new office." Ten sharply says making the older shiver and nod in a hurry. He almost runs out with a fuming manager. </p><p> </p><p>As soon as the door closes, he throws his head back in his chair and moans in despair. The entire time, his heart was beating fast, looking at Kun after so long, he still couldn't get over him. Stopping his eyes from tracing the male was hard. Every flutter of eye was heart fluttering. The soft voice he had been searching for every where, the pretty face he was looking for, it was all in front of him now. Safe and sound.</p><p>Just like he wanted the male to be; before he destroyes the man. </p><p> </p><p>But now that he looked at who stop Infront of him, that boy, that same boy he loved throughout his high school, could he really do anything? Every single flutter of his eyelash meant so much to Ten, it made him go crazy. He was so weak for Qian Kun whether he liked it on not. </p><p> </p><p>Every year was burdensome. Every year that he spent finding Qian Kun. He remembers every second of the day when he was hopelessly going through the world with a name of the Chinese man on his lips. The Thai wouldn't call himself a crier but he sobbed like hell for a few months, maybe years, every night he wasn't able to find him. Searching for no one but the boy with adorable dimples and a beautiful eye mole who spoke like no one else did, sang randomly when he felt stressed or worked out and who would uplift Ten's mood by hugging him close to his chest on the couch... ironically enough. Yet, nowhere to be found. As if erased from existence itself. </p><p>He wanted to claw his face. Rip Kun apart just to see what thoughts were trapped inside him, more specifically, thoughts that made him leave Ten. Instant anger took over him just thinking about it and his hands gripped the closest thing, he threw the mini plant from on the table over to the wall, the glass pot breaking and water spattering around, going up the walls even reaching the ceiling and rest of it on the ground. </p><p>He was heavily breathing, standing in his office in that chaos. Almost falling back limp he catches his breath and rubbed his chest that was tightening. </p><p>A mop of blue hair peeks out from the door and then Kun makes his way into his office with a box of a few files sticking out. He doesn't say anything and points to the table distant from his own and watches him settle on his new desk. Ten stops himself from throwing a fit and harshly clicks on the pen till it breaks in his hand. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>◗ 　◔</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>To say Kun is having a hard time is an understatement. </p><p> </p><p>The past weeks have been hellish, he can say least. Ten doesn't cut him off any slack. Frankly enough, Kun's qualification isn't fit for becoming an assistant and he's never received any training about it either. He doesn't know how to do accounting for him fast, deal with delaying or excusing out of meetings or scold the staff. It doesn't help that every time he makes a mistake, the Thai screams his lungs out at him. The older man tells himself not to cry. He's 25 for God's sake, he shouldn't start crying like a high schooler everytime he gets scolded.</p><p>It almost felt like Ten would find excuses to shout at him. Dropped the file from hand. Which world are you in? Added more sugar to the coffee than needed. Are you blind? Didn't listen to him. Now you're deaf? Every action had a sharp remark. Sometimes he'd get scolded for being worse than a high school kid. And he felt like he was. This wasn't his line of work, nowhere near what he had applied for. </p><p>Sometimes the manager helped him, since she was obviously more knowledged than Kun, a simple designer. Miso had already trainee her nephew for the spot of assistant yet kun had taken that away so she was a little bitter about it in the start but also sympathized seeing her suffer therefore ended up helping him. How he wished he had taken an off that day... and preferably avoided Ten everyday till he retired. </p><p> </p><p>Or until he gets a transfer. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn't possible of course being in the same office, but there was nothing wrong with creating peaceful images in his mind of being back at his desk besides Baekhyun. Speaking of baekhyun, he missed the older. His little chats and occasional irritating antics, there had not been one day he was free to go meet him. When it was workdays, Ten wouldn't let him breathe with how much work he gave him. It made him annoyed, the shorter glared at him while he does work than actually do his work on his own. Its not like Kun could question the Thai openly, he had to follow the orders. </p><p>Despite everything, the biggest problem was every time the Thai came close to him, every time he looked at him, when their hands brushed or their shoulders rubbed together, it made Kun's heartbeat fast. When his eyes would fall on Ten, his pink lips pursed together and his beautiful eyes crinkled from squinting or anger. Even his angry face made him look like the most handsome man the world had and every would see. Then came the pain. A pang in his heart making it hard for him to breathe, think, do anything. </p><p>There was still guilt in his chest. He remembers how he just ran away after saying he wanted to separate. He remembers Ten crying, he looked terrible, not look wise, terribly broken but still beautiful, his face red and his eyes shiny from the wetness. Kun just didn't run away from ten, he ran away from everything good in his life, from his calm and his anchor. Everything felt empty, everyday felt lonely. He just wanted to run back to the Thai boy, melt into his hug, look into his pretty eyes and tell him he loves him again. </p><p> </p><p>But he couldn't. </p><p> </p><p>Not even when Ten was looking at him with the anger dripping out of his eyes. "How many fucking times do I have to tell you to cancel the damned meeting. Get the fuck out if my face!" He screams and Kun shivers, lump rising in his throat. "You're absolutely useless! Are you even in your right state of mind?! Ever?! How did you get a job here?!" And it hurt so much. Not only the fact that it was someone he loved- loves, screaming at him but the exact same words as someone else. Months. It's been months. Everyday, the Thai just keeps increasing his workload, shouting at him and insulting him. </p><p>He knows what isn't even behind the tension behind them. He's not scolding office worker Kun who's his boss's assistant. He's shouting at the 18 year old Kun who ran away from him. Who never gave a when how what of his whereabouts and disappeared from the face of earth. Or maybe not earth, but at least from ten's eyes. He went away where the younger would never be able to reach him, where he wouldn't even suspect him of being. Beijing, the home town of kun's father. </p><p>Kun's father that left when he was 3.</p><p>Kun's father who came back when he was 19 just to tell him everything he's done has been wrong. To tell him he's useless. Pathetic. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He closed his eyes shut as the half drunk man was shouting at him. "It's your fault! She's so sick right now boy, and it's all because of you! All because you couldn't take that damned offer before. Was that boy really more important than my wife?!" Kun's hands grabbed onto the cloth of his pants and pulled on them. He wanted to say that ten meant the world to him, that when neither of them had been there, the Thai was. All the time, without any demands or conditions. "Did you really do anything at all? You make me want to bury myself alive!" His sharp voice hurt the young adult's ear. "Couldn't you-" </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"You weren't even there! You weren't there for us for 15 years! You were never there when I needed a father. When I needed a parent. The teachers would tell me to invite my dad... I was my own father, my own mother. She had to work all day and I had to work and study! Because you couldn't bother enough to stick aro-" Before his sentence finished a hand collided with his cheek and it was strong, making him tumble down from the half sitting position. As soon as he clutched his hand in pain a bigger one cupped his cheeks and made him look up. "We're counting on you... if she can get better.. you're the last hope. Please. I used to work in HongKong. Just for you. For your mother, i sent money every month to assure you were okay. I wanted you to go to school.. To become someone better, someone we can lean on when we're older. Is that so much?! We can't even ask for our only son to think about us for a moment?!"* He said and started crying. It left all the burden on the young Chinese. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He wanted to ask a lot of things. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>'Why did I never receive any of the money you sent. Why did you not come back even once. Was it that hard that after you come back the first time in 16 years, you reek of alcohol.' </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He loved his parents too much to question and demand answers harshly. Felt bad for them, after all they've lived a life of discomfort without any chance of education or business. He loved them so much that he decided losing his happiness is okay for their comfort. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>So he made his decision that day, not for himself, not for Ten's parents, not for ten. For his own parents. Because he loved them so much. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>So much that he never bothered asking Ten for his thoughts and decided for the both of them. Decided they'll be okay without so much as confronting him, seeing if they could make it through without going through the ugly scene. Decided that walking away- running away that day was the last choice he had and the last encounter they'll ever have. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A tear slipped at the memory. He was miserable. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*<strong> migrant working is a huge practice in poor Asian countries. People live in miserable conditions that force them to leave their family and work in cities. they generally send money and visit occasionally in festivals but that's it. this practice is common in countries like China, India, Phillipenes and neighbouring weak countries. Parents of such children are generally uneducated or low qualified or live in underdeveloped areas.</strong></em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Is this re uploaded? Yes. I accidentally uploaded the wrong ver of the chapter and just realized after days 😭</em>. </p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Um.. Hello.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If Ten hadn't, then Kun surely had scratched his head bald. It had been like this since painful, torturous months. Avoiding, ignoring, hurting. Hurting, hurting, hurting, so much. Their hearts ached, ached in the familiar way it had before, all those years back and now. Every time Ten passed by Kun, he would feel the same loving scent from the Thai reach him and he would grip the desk for leverage, he couldn't handle himself. It was killing him. Not talking to the person he once loved so much— he wanted to reach out and just trap him in a warm hug. Whenever his gaze shifted up from his screen or papers and stared at the broad clothed back.</p><p> </p><p>He could only watch, never hug him. Never wrap his arms around them, not like before. </p><p> </p><p>Whenever his eyes trailed Ten's hands he would remember the playful wrist wrestling they would do everytime and he would win against the younger making him whiney and hit him repeatedly, softly. Kun had never been a strong person, barely, he was weak and he knew it since all of his friends pointed it out. He had quite a good appearance but somehow he lacked strength miserably. That's why only Ten and him wrestled alone, they wouldn't last against others. When days got lucky, ten would win but it was usually Kun with the upper hand. </p><p>He wondered, wondered if things were the same. His lover— ex lover's hands had become more muscular. Veinier than before and he couldn't help but admire them. The light aging was appearing on his age, not like he expected something different. His eyes had quite a crinkle in his smile and he wasn't the same boost of energy anymore. Perhaps these years, they had affected Ten more than he expected to. At the same time Kun doesn't know what he was thinking, how he can not find himself to believe Ten was affected. He had always been close minded like this. He had always been a little ignorant in this way. </p><p>Of course Ten was hurt, his face that day, it spoke so many emotions. Emotions that Kun was too afraid to name. The younger broke down in the ugliest ways in front of him, yet he looked beautiful. He looked like that most beautiful man the God had carved and sent. Letting him go, it was the worst part of his life and he had only felt himself spiraling down an unhealthy cycle after that. Kun wasn't skinny, it never suited his body and he looked way better with some weight on him. Even in China's skinny fashion, his body was a good shape and everyone knew it admiring his cheeks and soft rounds.</p><p>It all disappeared with Ten, when he stopped eating anything except some ramen. When he'd come home drunk out of his mind and then cry. When he would forget how long he would work and then wake up with a headache. </p><p>His weight fell intensely until his bones started to show and his cheeks sunk in. He looked half dead, he looked unwell clearly and medicines wouldn't help. It was more burdening, as his father would take the money as he would be passed out and all he could do was cry in the hospital beside his unconscious mother as the only way to release his emotions. </p><p>The day the doctors declared her dead, he broke. There wasn't enough energy in him to cry, enough strength to latch onto her drave and enough stability to speak. He stood. Stood and stared as his last anchor, last hope went down in the ground and he couldn't do anything. There wasn't anyone to offer him a pat on the shoulder, anyone to tell him it's okay or anyone to hug the pain away. Five days, he would sit in the graveyard and stare at her grave and sit outside the gates at night. </p><p>Next day, he ran to his office and started working like a freak. He reeked, of dead bodies and dust, of sweat and dirt and it earned him quite some stares but he didn't care. He worked and worked and worked until he passed out. He doesn't remember much after that, he remembers the hospital's ceilings. He remembers some nurses and he remembers the doctors. He remembers the flowers he received as a "presence" and be remembers getting scolded everyday for his actions. The world had changed so much. Back when he would come in these places for he was poor and got free checkup the people would make faces at him and taunt him. As if they child had chosen to be born in this life. </p><p>Now, now they were all aware. Now they all wanted to treat him and take care. Now they were all concerned and bothered to take his last name. Perhaps, taking the offer wasn't bad. Perhaps it was meant to happen, to make his life better. With it, the Thai man appeared in his head. Nine months without him were like hell. It was like someone had split Kun in half and thrown him to survive on his own. And he couldn't. The next of the time he spent was almost unreal. </p><p>When Ten came back, that day, he couldn't believe it was him. He couldn't imagine seeing the younger again. He had almost given up the hope of ever seeing him. All this time, he was just coping with the last few photos in the old nokia phone he had captured. He kept them close, close to him. Even if Ten wasn't there, he was in his memories, his thoughts and his heart. Seeing him again, it had rose a lost hope in him. An almost unattainable hope. </p><p>He wanted to hold his hand again, he wanted to kiss him again and he wants to fall asleep with him again. All of it, it seemed too big. Too big when everytime Ten looked at him was in hatred. When he would look away in less than a second. It hurt. Hurt so much. But he knew, he knew he deserved it. Deserved the pain and deserved being ignored. He knew he didn't deserve to be looked at by Ten, his lashes rising up to give the scenery of his eyes. Kun had lost it and it hurt. The pain was miserably severe, this time no medicines to save him. No doctor could come and give him precautions and no nurse could do anything to make it better. He was helpless. Helpless and drowning. Drowning down the sea of past and guilt. </p><p>Maybe he shouldn't have done that. If she just had to leave them, if his mom had to go away in the end, he shouldn't have taken that. At least he would have Ten with him right now. His perfect Ten. But he wasn't. And she wasn't here anymore either. He was alone. All alone. </p><p> </p><p>He twisted the door to terrace and leaned on the railing as he cried. All these years, he felt like there wasn't a day he didn't cry. Maybe he really didn't. Maybe every day had just done nothing but remember his love. Maybe every day had just been a cycle of nightmares. There was nothing he could do, he had lost all sense of stability the way he walked out. The day he ran away from everything he could've wanted in his life. His hands loosened his head spinned and he felt free fall. Like he couldn't move anymore and before he would know, he would fall into darkness of eternity. Perhaps, this was better. </p><p> </p><p>A hand wrapped around his waist and the palm made contact with his shoulder holding him right before he could've fallen. "Are you crazy?! Do you have a death wish?" </p><p> </p><p>Ten. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>◑ ◐</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After the man had walked away from his office he had followed him right behind. Of course, the days had gotten worse and every day he would pass a comment saltier than before. But he had the right to. He had all the right to right after he had gone just like that. After every day ten suffered, he deserves to at the moment they were standing in. Because God it hurt, and it did it hurt so bad. Every single glance at Kun hurt. The curves of his body that trailed his eyes down and the softness of his hands everytime they bumped into his own. He wanted to do nothing more than stop the time. Stop the time and spend all his life to admire the older.</p><p>Nothing could distract him from his thoughts of hugging him, once more to find if he was still living up to his best hugs title. Would he even feel the same anymore? He saw how weak the man looked. Not that he had been especially strong ever, but right now, he looked fragile. He looked like a little kid left alone in the fair. Maybe that's what he was, lost and trying to be found. Or was he lost on purpose? </p><p>Ten wouldn't know; he never got the chance to question that ask. He never got to hear the reason, he never got to know why these thoughts were just thoughts now. Reality was cruel and unforgiving. Reality was harsh to him, harsher when his dream walked in front of him and he was so close, yet a distant dream to chase. </p><p>And in this case, the unfortunate case of him, he couldn't even chase. </p><p>His first love. His only love. No one had ever been like Kun, no one ever interested him this way. No one ever filled him with warmth in his chest and made him breath a little more each time. No one made him this crazy, only Kun. Only Kun had this effect on him. Like he was trapped in his space and despite having the key he wouldn't dare try to approach the exit. </p><p>Because all this while, it was still his Kun. The same Kun he loved so much, still does. His cheeks that puffed out when he was focused and his plush lips that would catch anyone's eye in a second. His hands, the thin fingers that would always look so pretty with rings on it and Ten would kiss them everytime Kun got mad at the younger. His pretty mole right below his eyebrow, he loved to peck it before and the one on his neck too. He knew it made him ticklish, remembered how the older would squirm from the wet kisses and laugh. He remembers his laugh, it wasn't melodic or something he could describe with a number of words. It was just Kun. Kun and his way of laughing in the precious voice he held in his throat. The only way to describe it was magical. It would bind the Thai into some other world and he would find himself smiling as well with the boy. </p><p> </p><p>He missed him so much. So much. </p><p> </p><p>Did he really stop loving Ten? Did he really not feel the same connect the Thai felt? Then what was meant of the confessions. Their plans and their little sweet imaginations. When they would intervene their fingers and let their lips dance on each other's. When a warm hand would run into his hair and a breathy voice would linger on his hair. Every year, when they grew a little closer, drank shots together and laughed. Had it not been enough? Was love not enough for him to stay? </p><p>He opened the door and looked at the man leaning a bit oddly and before he could open his mouth, the body before him almost fell, his legs kicking in an instant run and he held him before he could fall on the thin metal. He looked unconscious, like he had lost control over his body. Ten was frantic. He slowly made him sit with the support against the wall and cupped his face with one hand, holding the slim fingers with the other. And waited for the man to respond. He didn't. The breathing was visible, chest rising and falling slightly as it did and he couldn't wait more. he immediately wrapped the older's hand around his neck and gripped his middle tight making the other stand, leaning on Ten.</p><p>The boys were almost around the same weight, they had always been therefore he could carry him but not enough to lead them downstairs.</p><p>Half struggling and falling, he somehow got them down and then picked him up. It wasn't easy, he wouldn't say Kun was feather light and he was obviously struggling with it but the distance was short and it didn't hurt a little to put some efforts. A rough push on the chair, he hissed a little and then waited for the Chinese man to wake up. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>◑ ◐</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After he came back with a coffee in hand he found Kun up, standing in the room and looking around as if trying to find, maybe he did remember he wasn't here on his own. Or that he was outside. He walked in and stared at him, close to crumpling the cup in his hand as the blue haired man turned around to face him. His mind started screaming and his heart raced. No no no. Ten, stay focused. He's right there and you want answers from him. Don't get distracted. </p><p>Kun stared at him for a few minutes, lost and spaced out until he waved his hand in front of him causing his cheeks to tint a subtle light pink and it was a pretty sight. Pretty enough for Ten to take a deep breath in order to not to just run over to him and hug him. Before the older could start walking out he was stopped with a light hold on his hand. "Stop running away from me.. don't run away. Not again." He said almost pleading and the Chinese's heart couldn't let him move. Wouldn't let him move. He stared at Ten with glossy eyes and moved forward to hug him. Even when the other didn't hug back he didn't stop. He hugged him so tight as if he would disappear. And cried softly. The familiar warmth, it was all he wanted. Ten couldn't help how his fingers itched to hug him back and so he did, drowning in the comfort of the slightly taller male. It felt so safe. It felt perfect. No perfect words could mold into his feelings, not how they hugged each other with the hurt and the love. "Why would you do this... why did you leave me Kun. I waited for days. Months. A whole year, I waited for you to come back. I kept searching where I went wrong... all this time, you've still been on my mind. Look what you did to me." </p><p> </p><p>And with that, Ten broke. From his steady front he finally broke as he tightened the hug and sobbed in his shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>"I didn't want to.. I never wanted to leave you. All this time, I've been waiting for you too. Maybe not in the same way, I'm not brave like you. I lost hope. I thought I'd never see you again, but I dreamt of you every night, I prayed for your well being every evening and the meals I had were always first in your name. I never moved on, never saw a person after you. You've always been my first everything ten. And if it had to be last, it would still be you." And it was true. The words were as true as they could come out. Maybe that's why they hurt so much and he couldn't reply in an instant. Despite having a hundred questions he couldn't. </p><p>"Why?" He cried and Kun stumbles. The incidents, the pressure and the pain. He doesn't know where to start, whether to break down into sorrys or go ahead and share all these events. Just like old times, when he would have the Thai sit beside him and listen to a bad day or listen to his'. Was it even reasonable? He thought and stared at Ten's face. Could anyone be a fool like him to do that? He doesn't know and something in him doesn't want to know either. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Kun fiddled with the bag in his hand and bit his lip, looking up back at the man, then towards the woman. "Don't you think this is a little cliche Mr Li?" He said almost biting back a sob and a small chuckle replaced it. The man raised his eyebrow and poured the water in his glass again. "In a sense.. maybe? I really don't care, Kun. See, you're a lovely boy. Kind, obedient, patient and you even have Ten wrapped around you like magic. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to do this by force. That's why, in just asking you to leave our son and move on with life. Everyday he spends with you.. he keeps going on with his rebellion. I don't want that, I want the best for my son, and that's handling this company." </em>
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  <em>He stopped to look at his wife who gave a nod at Kun and her eyes growing sad as if pleading him making the young adult look down. "It's a simple sweet agreement, beneficial for you and your family. You can't survive with a Starbucks job Kun. Think practically." The heavy voice pierced through him. He was indeed patient enough to listen to this. </em>
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  <em>"Your mother is sick, I know." With that, he raised his head almost too fast making the middle aged man give a smug look. "The current job you have is not stable, it's not enough pay to even put enough for bills much rather her treatment. I'm offering you a dream Kun. I know you're smart, you'll adapt." He bit his lip and almost pinched his finger too hard. It was suffocating, sitting there and watch them mutter things that were true but harsh. That he didn't want to accept but couldn't run away from. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll... think about it. And contact you." His shaky voice reached their ears and the couple immediately knew. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he locked the door of his own house, he almost slipped and slid on the door but a firm voice steadied him. "You didn't say anything." He heard and his hands shook. His father. Father that had returned just after he took up his job. Father that was never there, now here to taunt him in every sense. His mother's small sentences in coughs for Kun's defense could only do so much. "How would you know?" He said locking the door and then heading straight inside now wanting to look at him but the quite obvious thumping sound behind him made it clear he couldn't be alone. </em>
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  <em>"Of course I know, they will always contact your parents first. Let me guess, you were the selfish shit you've always been and didn't choose us over your boyfriend. Your mom over that boy. Is he more important than her huh?" His jaw was gripped roughly and he felt like crying, 'go away' he said in his mind but lips were sealed shut. "First you're a fucking homosexual and now you're here not even trying to make our life better when you can." Before his father could raise his hand, his mother, stepped in and shooed the man away from the room. She looked so weak, frail and almost breakable. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Skin and bones and nothing else. Her face was lifeless and she looked sick, like she was. "It's okay Kunnie.. choose your happiness. I've lived enough. I didn't give you enough anyways, that's why you're not choosing me right? I was a bad mother, no time for her son while I worked day to night.." He wanted to run. Run away from them. "Everyone doesn't have the comfort of a good child anyways. What can we do. Maybe my next life won't be like this." She said looking disappointed and got up walking out to her own bedroom. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Again. She was doing this again. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. She knew how to make him drown in guilt. He wanted to sob, he wanted to cry and curse himself for this. He wanted to do nothing but disappear when they both would give him desperate glances everytime he picked up the phone. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I'll take your offer Mr Li." </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>◑ ◐</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Ten stared at him. Stared and stared for the time. "That's.. that's why you left me? A-and all this time I kept blaming myself.." Kun couldn't look up at him, he couldn't, he didn't have the courage for it. Ten would probably find him stupid. Stupid and immensely childlike for doing that. Which adult man made decisions based on his parents? How could he blame his dead mother for this. It probably didn't make sense to the Thai, and he would accept that. He would even agree as well. "I'm sorry.." He muttered lightly and he was expecting to be thrown out. Maybe even hit. </p><p>But Ten hugged him. Hugged him and kissed his forehead, the hot lips lingering on his skin for a while like a lullaby. "You're.. you're too good Kun. I always told you someone will take advantage of you because of this. They all did, all of them. They kept suckint your blood like a leach. You're so stupid Kun.. You should've trusted me. I would've made this better, god, I wouldn't have had to spend all these years like a fool. I'd get us out Kun. I'd get us in a better place.. I'm so sorry for not coming soone—" </p><p>Before he could finish his lips were sealed shut as the plush ones pressed against them. He smiled, bittersweet and sat down on the chair pulling the older onto his lap. Soft. He melted into him. They were soft and rough. His head was swooning, it felt too fast. Right now, they were on the verge of breaking and now they were in each other's arm, putting themselves back together. He let his hand travel on Kun's back, going down to his middle and pulling him closer as his neck craned in an uncomfortable position, upwards, but he didn't complain. </p><p>He couldn't, with the love of his life sitting on his legs. The slim hands went up to pull him up more by the back of his head and Kun cried. He cried into the kiss, expressing all the sorrys he couldn't through speech.</p><p>They drowned again. </p><p>Drowned in each other's love and hurt and comfort. Give give give. Take take take. Eagerness found the young lovers and they broke apart to stare at each other. Even with his hair on his face and lips parted, slightly swollen and red from kissing and his shirt a little odd because of ten's desperate hands, Kun looked beautiful. This, this scenery before him, he would never traid for anything. </p><p>"You thought so much, you made choices on your own for both of us. And I was so mad. So angry I wanted to do nothing more than scream at you. Yet, everytime your eyes find mine, I can't forget how immensely I love you. It's not because of any reason that I can pin point. You, Qian Kun, as a whole drive me crazy. Insane. Every single tantrum of mine and every attitude falls with you. You thought everything would be better, me living the life I was bound to and you with your.. family. But all I ever wanted was you. You were my greatest wealth, my only dream." He moved a strand of hair from the taller man's face and cupped it gently. </p><p>"We wasted so much time. So many years trying to find happiness yet.." He trailed off and looked down, almost unsure. ".. Yet it's always been you. It's always been us, what we're looking for. No one could match, no one could replace you cause you're a diamond, not something that can be stolen with a glass replacement." Kun continued and nodded, leaning down again. This time, even softer. Almost like a chaste kiss, like he was trying to make them one. Maybe they were. </p><p>Ten felt complete. He wouldn't say he fully forgave him, neither did he feel fully trustable right now. Bad memories still lingered at the back of his head, and the fear of these events again taking place was strong. Way stronger than he wanted it to be. But so was Kun. The way his voice shook and shoulders fell. He knew the man was taking it all, all on himself. The rough time he went through alone, where he had no one to be there with him. They were lost. Scared. Anxious. And it felt like a vivid dream, something too good to be even believed. </p><p>But right now, in each other's arms, lips connected to pour their emotions out and hands intervened to say things they couldn't, this moment was going to help them heal. They had time now, to question and argue and love. It wasn't a dip in the ocean anymore. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Their story, it wouldn't be a tale of lovelorn. They'd make sure of it. </em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please I rushed this so much?? I'm so sorry it's so awfully expressed, I rushed it indeed because I couldn't drag this over to the next year. I'll edit this once in a while as I get chances. </p><p>I can't express how disappointed I feel in my self for making everyone wait so long just to give them /this/ as a concluding chapter. </p><p>Either ways, please stay safe and take care everyone.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Stay safe everyone! Covid is being tough one some countries, I hope everyone can be healthy. Don't forget to stay hydrated!! </p><p>Also don't forget to check the update on next friday for the next chapter!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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